Writing to you from the gorgeous Shenandoah Valley of Virginia - this (photo above) is my view as I tap away at my keyboard from the porch of my friend's house. I came down here for the week to visit and soak up the best of my favorite season. I'm so lucky that a friend of mine lives on this beautiful farm, with views of the Blue Ridge mountains and a short drive to the entrance of the national park, where we took in a lovely hike yesterday. 

Anyhoo, I'm here, and as I usually do when I take these trips, I had in my mind that I would get all kinds of things done while I was here. I got nothing done. Well, nothing that I thought I would. I didn't even look at any of the multiple books I brought to read, and I only opened my laptop for the virtual calls and classes I had on the schedule. I did, however, sleep. And catch up with my friend. And get outside. And eat donuts and apple pie. And reconnect with this gorgeous part of the country I once called home. 

There was a time I had big dreams of living this often-glorified "laptop lifestyle," I thought I wanted to be nomadic most of the time and work from the road. Sounds like a dream life, right?! But on the trips I've taken recently I've realized: that doesn't work for me. Because (1) I actually love being home, and (2) when I'm away in these gorgeous places and visiting friends I haven't seen in a while, I want to just be there and take it in. When I put pressure on myself to also do work as I would at home - or even sometimes I have *higher* expectations of how much I can get done in these serene settings - I end up feeling bad for not being "productive" and also for not fully relaxing or making the most of my time away. That's a lot of feeling bad for a vaca. 

When we try to do two things at once we end up not really doing either of them well; only one thing can be our priority at any given moment. I find myself doing this straddle often, although I've gotten much better at it as of late. At home I used to sit and watch TV ("relaxing") while also playing with spreadsheets on my laptop ("working"). I was neither truly effective at the work I was hoping to get done, or giving myself the downtime I needed. When I'm away I now make the decision ahead of time: this will be a work day, or this will not be a work day. I'll get x, y, and z done, and that's it; the rest of the pressure is lifted. 

And so I've realized this about my dream of being a nomad - it's not my dream anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love that I can take client calls and do the occasional virtual yoga class from the road, but the pressure to do all the rest, I'm letting go. It's a funny thing about dreams: they're not always what they seem. It's important to check in with the reality of that thing, and your changing personal preferences, and give yourself allowance to let them go even before you fully realize them. Sometimes we set a goal and stick to it so adamantly, our ego can't admit that maybe we were wrong. I think that letting go of goals can be just as powerful as the work we do to achieve them. Release some of that pressure and be realistic about what you want; not what you think you should want, or what you wanted ten years ago, what do you really want now?

While I will forever be a multitasker in general (a part of myself I resisted for a while, but have since learned is my natural flow thanks to Human Design), I'm no longer trying to be in two modes at once. Forever seeking that balance - the act of finding balance, is a balancing act in and of itself. Meta, I know. 

Hope you're letting yourself be all in on whatever you're doing in each moment. Pick a mode, and be in it. Notice when you switch.

<insert sound of switch flipping off here> 

xoxo,
m.