This week feels... different. I can't put my finger on it, but I've found a little bit of a flow and I'm riding it out. Excited for the future. Knocking things off my to-do list. Giving myself permission to pursue things that light me up. As a manifesting generator, it's what I need to do - be lit up. 

I notice when I hold myself back, when I get mired down in the "how" of things and convince myself I'm being unrealistic, when I don't show up for myself and bail on the commitments I've made to myself, that flow doesn't, um, flow. And that lack of support isn't what I would want from the people in my life, so why would I do that to myself?? 

Here's the thing about stifling your own flow: the world around you is reflecting back what you put out. And not just in this "positive vibes" kind of way, but how you show up, how you treat yourself, how you believe in your dreams. 

For example, I used to have a big pattern of people booking my free 30-minute discovery calls only to no-show, or cancel last minute (if they were nice). It was disappointing, infuriating, and a big waste of my time. I found it rude, disrespectful, and it contributed to my feelings of imposter syndrome - they weren't taking me seriously. And it was all those things - this is rude please don't do this to coaches, or anyone for that matter. But what it forced me to take a closer look at is how I show up for myself. How I take myself seriously. How I make commitments to myself, and then bail on them at the last moment. 

Because what we put out, is reflected back. 

This happens outside of business too, of course, and that's what I really want to propose to you today. Think of a friend, or someone you know, who you would never cancel on. Maybe a coach or professional you'd consider yourself *lucky* to book a call with. Someone you take seriously, you respect their time, you think really knows her shit. We'll call her person #1. Then think of someone who is the opposite - that person you're more likely to cancel on, the person who's promises, commitments, and advice you take with a big grain of salt, the person who's contribution to the relationship is a little less clear to you; person #2.

Picture these two people in your mind: what are the differences? 

My guess is that person #1 speaks firmly and clearly. She knows what she's about, and she doesn't apologize for it. She has clear boundaries around her time, and what she'll put up with in her relationships. She doesn't have to say that she deserves your respect, you are just happy to give it because it's clear she respects herself. She most likely makes plans with herself and keeps them; she most likely takes care of herself, and protects the time and rituals she needs to do that. 

Person #2, on the other hand, is a bit more wishy washy, no? She's probably told you about her big dreams several times, but you haven't yet seen any of those come to fruition. She *wants* to take better care of herself, but can't seem to get it together. She's the friend you'll make plans with and expect them to fall through. She doesn't totally know what she stands for, and/or she's afraid to claim it. 

Now, I'm being pretty extreme in these examples so you can really see my point (assuming you see it by now?), but know that this applies on the subtler levels, too. So if there's a pattern in your life that's pissing you off, or bumming you out, or making you feel less-than, ask yourself how YOU are showing up for yourself in that regard. 

Don't get caught up in the blame game; this is not to say that you are somehow causing people to treat you poorly, some people are just jerks and it's more about their shit than your shit. But if you keep putting up with it? That's on you. What little shifts can you make in the relationship you have with yourself to start emulating that person #1 a bit more? How do you imagine she treats herself behind the scenes? 

Being that confident person is not just about how you show up when you're around other people, or on social media, or whatever; it all starts with how you show up with yourself. 

xo,
m.