Sending lots of love to my NYC peeps this week as it's been an unsettling time. Wherever you are, hoping you and your fam are safe and healthy and taking good care <3
This week I wanted to share with you an observation I made - about myself - just a few weeks back. I had connected with a friend and colleague who offers Feng Shui consultations, something I'm soooo interested in learning more about, but also was hoping would give me some clarity. Long story short, we decided to do a trade of services, but then her work piled up and she had to postpone. I was bummed, but I noticed something more than that; I noticed how much I had expected this consultation to answer my questions, to tell me what to do, to solve my problems... I had loaded a ton of pressure onto this consultation, and felt this sort of "lost in the woods" feeling when it disappeared.
I realized I've done this a lot over the years - the next coach, program, book or healer is going to have the answer for me. Once I can connect with them, I'll know what to do. But the truth is, that's never been the case.
In fact, I've been burned by coaches in the past. They've led me astray because a lot of coaches tell you how THEY did it, instead of helping you figure out what's best FOR YOU. Same with a lot of the guidance I've received - don't get me wrong, it's all (mostly) been super helpful and we have much to learn from each other, but at the end of the day the answers aren't actually out there for someone else to finally share with me - they're in me.
That's right, the only one who really knows what's right for me is ME. We don't usually love this fact. It's much easier to put it on someone or something else, to shove that responsibility elsewhere. It's easier to be stuck in a holding pattern, awaiting these elusive answers or clarity or solutions, than to TRUST what comes from deep inside ourselves and begin to take action for ourselves.
Because - what if we're wrong? What if we "fail"? Well then, we only have ourselves to blame.
But what if there is no silver bullet? What if there is no one outside of you that has the answers? What if that book or coach or educational course you've been saving up for isn't, in fact, the answer? What if nobody's coming to save you?
If it was all up to you, how would you act differently? If it was all up to you, what excuses would no longer have legs to stand on? What would be your very first step in figuring it out on your own?
Now I would be remiss if I didn't point out the obvious: I am a coach, and I believe in my services. The difference here is that I don't have a prescriptive path for my clients. I don't expect what worked for me to work for them, necessarily. Instead, I use a myriad of tools I've accumulated over the years to help them find the answers within. To learn to listen and trust their own inner voice. To validate who they are and that they are right. If that sounds like the thing you need, and you’re ready to finally be the one to save yourself, let’s chat.
Whether you decide to work with me one day or not, I do hope you don't listen to the ones who claim to have the answer, especially when that answer just doesn't feel right for you. I do hope you don't let yourself be bullied into feeling "wrong" for the way that you naturally operate. I do hope you take the time to listen in and learn the language of your deep inner knowing, build a relationship with it, and trust what it has to say. I do hope you stop waiting for that next consultation to tell you what's up, and instead start asking yourself the questions and taking responsibility for your life today.
As with everything, it all starts with awareness; judgement-free awareness. Notice, like I did, the times you put that pressure on something outside yourself to have all the answers. Notice the ways you’re putting off your happiness because you aren’t able to do x, y, or z right now. Notice the ways you make excuses, blame others, or refuse to get to know yourself better.
Because nobody's coming. It's just you. That can be kinda scary, but it can also be extremely empowering. What will you do with it?
xo,
m.
