I've been writing this blog for six and a half years. SIX AND A HALF YEARS (!!), with a few little breaks, of weekly ramblings.
I still - 6.5 years later - leave writing this newsletter to the last minute. You may have even noticed that it goes out later on Thursdays than it used to - I'm really pushing it. I've accepted this as my "process," as it seems my brain only functions under pressure. However, on the rare occasion that I write it "early," as I am today, it feels as if I've given myself a big fat GIFT; along with a myriad of other validating feelings like: I'm taking myself seriously, I'm kinda organized/not a mess. Those feel nice too. But I wanted to focus on that GIFT-like feeling...
As someone who's love language is "acts of service," these little gifts I give to my future self is how I show myself love. There are many things on the daily that present me can do - an act of service - for future me. These aren't usually fun or sexy things, so they're easy to put off.
Meal prepping is a big one - if I cook on Monday and then find myself super busy by Wednesday, I am so grateful to be well fed with little to no effort; I quite literally can feel that love. Lately I've been brewing batches of coffee to keep in the fridge, as I've discovered my love for drinking it cold in the morning - a treat I now look forward to each day :) Doing the dishes before I go to bed is a drag, but I wake up to a tidy kitchen - yay! Taking myself to a yoga class, or any kind of healing session, and letting myself be the one being held, instead of the one doing the holding: Yessss.
As I always say - it's not just about the benefit of the act itself, be it the healthy meal or the yoga class, but about the message you are sending to yourself by doing it. By choosing yourself. By thinking of, acknowledging, validating, and meeting your own needs.
Because - did you know that you have needs? Ignoring them doesn't make them go away. And sure, it'd be nice if someone else could help you out from time to time, but ultimately it's up to you. This is where my last few blog posts all weave into one because nobody's coming and also, the way we treat ourselves is how we teach other people to treat us.
So it might be doing your taxes - which sucks, but feels SO GOOD to have done. And it might be getting yourself to bed a little earlier. It might be stocking your kitchen with your favorite tea, or blocking your calendar on a day you know will be hard for you emotionally. It could be packing a cold & refreshing (or warm & cozy - depending on the season/your preference) drink in your car for after a hike. As I've observed these little acts of service I can do for myself, I've come to think of them as "doing myself a favor."
I spend more time than the average person (I think) contemplating and studying what it is that makes us do the things we want to do for ourselves versus why we sometimes/often drop the ball. Like most things we procrastinate on, we make the task bigger in our heads than it really is. For example: self love. What the heck is that, and how do I do it? Which comes first: the feeling of loving oneself, or the showing it? When it feels like an extra "to-do" on your list, or like a whole other identity you need to take on, it can feel insurmountable. But if you think of it as these small things, these little favors, these gifts you can give to your future self, perhaps it's more doable than you thought?
Perhaps, over time, your actions will speak louder than the words in your head and you'll start to believe you really do love yourself, because you're constantly making yourself more happy, more comfortable, and more supported. You're consistently taking a few minutes here and maybe a few hours there to get something done so future you can rest, enjoy a treat, or simply be less stressed - isn't that love?
So, what little favor can you do for yourself today?
xo,
m.
