I've been on a little rollercoaster since my trip a few weeks back. I spent three dreamy days on the beach of Tulum, and a week in the fresh air of Northern California. I had a bit of a rough landing coming home as I started to really crave something different for my life while I was away. I loved being in nature and in a slower paced environment, and it wasn't the first time I've questioned living in NYC.

What's exciting is that I started to get a clear vision; I know now what I want to work towards and what I do and don't want for my next chapter. The less exciting part is that knowing this made me pretty unhappy, too, because I wanted it to happen NOW. The gap between now and what's next felt big, and I got tangled up in the how: How will I get there? What are the details? It took me out of living in the present moment and enjoying the life I've built for myself - a life which I've also worked really hard for and was once my big dream.

As someone who is constantly moving the goalpost on herself, it's easy to get caught up in living in the future, daydreaming, anticipating, planning, and forgetting to enjoy how far I've come. I can get grumpy and resentful at the way things are now, even if just days prior I was feeling grateful AF. There's a balance between proactively working towards what you want and letting your story unfold organically. I realized I was stressing myself out by trying to forceand "figure out" these next steps, and so I did the thing nobody really wants to do in this kind of scenario: I practiced acceptance.

We often get confused about what acceptance really is. We think of acceptance as surrender, as a sort of giving up or giving in to the circumstance. But in fact, acceptance is about simply living in the present reality; it's meeting yourself where you are, so you can make your way from there. If you think about trying to navigate to someplace new, you would want your map to start at your current location, right? It would be really hard to navigate from a different starting point, be it down the street or perhaps a more "ideal" position. Even if you don't like the spot you're standing in, the best way to make your way out of it is to start where you are. That's acceptance: being where you are. It doesn't mean you don't want to make a change.

I like to add a bit to it, and focus on being really friggin good at being where you are. So not just living in this reality, but embracing it, being the best version of you that you can be in this chapter of your story. Because the truth is, if you can't be your best self in this chapter, who's to say you'll be your best in the next one, or the one after that? You'll be stuck in that constantly chasing, constantly wishing you were elsewhere, constantly waiting for that next thing to make you your "best," whatever that means to you in this context.

This happens a lot with my coaching clients, as we certainly go on a journey together. Folks tend to get frustrated with themselves when we first begin, as we're learning new concepts, ways of thinking, and changing deeply-ingrained behaviors that they've had their whole lives. It's a lot to rewire, and it doesn't happen overnight! Expecting or wishing that you were already over a certain hurdle or several weeks or months (or years) down the line does nothing but pump the brakes. Being the best at learning, at practicing compassion, at meeting yourself where you are is how you actually move yourself forward.

I know it's counterintuitive: when you want to make a change, focus on being where you are?

It's about letting go of the fight with reality and taking your energy back. Accepting your body as it is, so you can find the workout routine that really suits you. Accepting your relationship as it is, so you can address the real issues. Accepting your financial situation, so you can make the changes necessary to support yourself. Accepting a policy that doesn't make sense to you, so you can advocate for change from the ground up. Accepting yourself - not how you were yesterday, not how you think things are "supposed" to be now, and not how you hope they are in the future, but how they are, today.

"You're only unhappy because life is not happening the way you think it should happen." -Sadhguru

What's a part of your reality that you've been resisting, that you can work on accepting? Notice where that fight is only tiring you out, and find some ease in landing right where you are.

xo,
m.

PS If this feels impossible, dive into this short meditation for some guidance :)