Hope everyone is staying happy and healthy out there and washing your hands! I really appreciate the extra effort everyone is taking to limit the spread of this coronavirus, but I also have to ask - can we all just wash our hands and clean our yoga studios and not cough on each other, like, all the time anyway? Just a thought.
Anyhoo, I wanted to talk about something that's been coming up for me a lot lately. Let me start by telling you about my good friend - who I didn't get to ask if she was okay me talking about her, so she'll remain anonymous for now. We've been friends for, oh, six years now, and in that time she has gone from zero to the moon with her online business. We started at the same time, and while I'm very proud of my own - personal and business - accomplishments in that time, it can be hard to not get jealous of her just the same. She lives in another country, and every time we chat she's off to somewhere else, traveling just because, attending workshops she's interested in, and crushing her biz all the while.
Personal friendships aside, there's so much of this out there these days with instagram culture and FOMO and why not me dialogue rattling around in the back of our heads. BUT, here's why this is great. Here's why we should surround ourselves with even more people that make us feel this way - because they show us what's possible. Especially if you relate to this person (we're about the same age, same gender, same socioeconomic status, etc...), they are a shining example of what is possible FOR YOU.
Because if they can do it, so can you!
This is a concept that a manifestation coach that I follow calls "expanders." It's the idea that we should be actively seeking out people who have done what we want to do. I consider Marie Forleo a great expander for me - Italian girl from Jersey who stays true to herself and mixes life advice with biz advice and a little hip hop dancin', yes please! Healther Lillestonis another one - she leads retreats constantly and all over the world, #goals.
But this person doesn't need to be "famous," either. Maybe your mom or your bestie can show you how it's done. You also don't need to want to be a carbon copy of this person, but instead try dreaming up your own little tribe of expanders who each show you one element of the life you want to have and the person you want to be.
I've also been applying this concept with a coaching client of mine with regards to fashion and body type inspo. Meaning, if you follow all people who are stick thin but you're a gorgeously curvy woman, you're naturally gonna feel pretty crappy because that just isn't your body type, no matter how hard you hit the gym. Instead, find some badass, sexy, curvy ladies who can help you rewrite the script in your head that says skinny = pretty. For body type inspo, Aerie is a great place to start as they do a great job of highlighting women of all shapes and colors.
If you want to up your wardrobe but don't know where to start, find people who you can relate to (again, body type, age, maybe even profession or at least general lifestyle) and get yourself inspired!
Are you single - or in a relationship that needs some work - who is a couple that emulates what you would want in your own relationship?
There's no need to be jealous here. And there's no need to scroll instagram and feel like shit about yourself, either. Follow people who help you change the limiting beliefs that tell you what you can and can't do, and cut out the ones that don't relate or - worse - hammer in those limiting beliefs.
What are some areas you could use some expansion in?
Who can you look to to show you that it's possible for you, too?
Til next time ;)
xo,
m.
