I woke up feeling a little anxious this morning. I haven't been sleeping great, and also my stomach is off (those two things are a sort of chicken or the egg situation already) so I woke up with that pit in my stomach and heart beating a little too fast feeling. My body feeling off does that to me. I'm told I'm extra sensitive in this way. Great.

But it was funny which random memory from my childhood popped into my head at that moment, and how intuitive and helpful it actually was. When I was a kid I spent a few days at my friend's family's vacation house, which I can only assume was in upstate NY (I had no context at the time, but I'm from Jersey so I think it had to be). I remember very little from that trip, except that we rode horses and I LOVED it, I randomly brought my Nair cream and grossed my friend out with the smell (why I thought I needed to remove my leg hair at that age or on that trip, I'll never know), and this one very wise thing my friend said to me in our dark, pitched-ceiling room when I wasn't feeling well.

"I feel like I'm gonna throw up," I told her. Looking back now, nearly 30 years later, I realize that little me was probably having a bit of a panic attack at that moment. I had no other reason to be nauseous, and it makes sense - I never before went away with friends and their families, and could see how that sort of discomfort would do it to me. Hell, it would make me uncomfortable even now - I don't like being at the will of other people's agenda or expectations.

But in that moment, my little friend told me, "just breathe normally." She said it so matter-of-factly it stuck in my brain all this time; like she knew something I didn't about how not to throw up. As kids, you throw up. Right? It just happens a lot more often. To learn that there was some kind of hack to keep it from happening felt noteworthy.

Laying in bed this morning, reflecting on all this, and starting to implement her strategy of "just breathe normally," I realized that this actually sums up a lot of what I've learned about the nervous system, fight or flight, and breathing.

Sometimes when we're feeling anxious we instinctively try breathing deeper - or at least I did when I was just “starting out” with anxiety. We think of the classic "breathe into a paper bag" cliche and think that big, deep breaths is the answer. NOPE. It's not. When your body's going into that fight or flight mode a big deep breath could actually make it worse. We take big gulps of air when we're getting ready to run, or fight for our life, or hold our breath under water, or stay quiet as to not alert a predator of our whereabouts. Big deep breaths send a message to the brain that you're not okay, and that's what we need to focus on: the conversation that's happening between the brain and the body.

Sometimes it's the brain that says, "we're not okay," and sends the body into alarm. This happens when our minds are racing and stressing and focused on all our deepest fears. But, more often than not, it is the body sending signals to the mind. Like in my case - if my body is off, my anxiety kicks in. So really our job is to keep the body feeling good. This is why diet, exercise, rest, and releasing physical tension (she types as she's about to go get a massage) are so important for anxiety management.

So, back to my friend's breathing tip from 30 years ago: just breathe normally. DON’T take big dramatic breaths. Regulate the nervous system. Tell your body you're fine, nothing to fuss about. Easier said than done, which is why we practice, and call it meditation.

Wishing you all a great week full of nice, normal breaths :)

xoxo,
m.