Hope you're staying cool and hydrated out there! It's blazin' hot in NYC this week, and while I'm not typically one to love the heat, I am enjoying the change in energy. I've had the same-ish morning routine since last spring and while that worked well for a while, it feels like it's time to mix it up! I think this is where we get stuck sometimes: thinking our routines and "what works" needs to always stay the same. I believe we do best when we allow ourselves to pivot and change with the seasons, our own energy levels, and shifting priorities.
That said, I want to drop in here this week to share with you a concept that's been coming up a lot with my coaching clients, as well as a workshop I led this past weekend at our Lazy Wellness Retreat! As we think about re-jiggering our routines, perhaps with "back to school" season upon us, there may be one or two habits you'd like to [re]incorporate into your days. It's common to get caught up in that habit looking a certain way - for example, yoga has to be one hour - and thinking it's not worth doing at all if we can't do it fully.
When building a habit, consistency is more important than quality or outcome. Meaning, it's better to show up to meditation for two minutes everyday than 20 minutes two days a week. If you want to work out more, don't worry about how hard you work out, but just that you showed up and did a little bit; let go of the outcome.
Think about the things you need to do to feel good in a day - for me it's something like:
-go outside
-move my body
-sit and eat nourishing meals
-meditate
-get work done / feel accomplished
-connect with friends
It can be easy to turn this list into something that's not feasible on an everyday basis:
-walk for one hour
-workout for one hour
-cook and eat mindfully 3 meals/day
-meditate 20 minutes
-get x, y, and z done for work everyday (or work a certain number of hours)
-one hour phone call or hang sesh with friends
It starts to feel insurmountable and impossible to do all these things, so we easily let some of them slip right off the list. Then we feel disappointed in ourselves and lose trust; we start to believe that we won't really do the things we say we will. So: touchstones. While it might not be possible to have your most ideal day everyday, how can you just *touch* each habit or activity that you know you need in order to feel fulfilled each day?
This could turn our very full list into something like:
-take at least one lap around the block
-workout, dance, or yoga for 10 minutes
-commit to eating breakfast slowly and mindfully
-take a meditative pause between activities or while waiting for the train
-do one important thing for work each day
-text a friend to say you're thinking of them <3
See how we can boil these down to something small enough we can just kinda *tap* that habit each day, without going full-on? First, figure out what it is you need each day to feel like that was a "good day." You probably already have an idea of the finished product version of this habit- where you'd like to build up to - but what is the "touchstone" version of this habit? What is the minimum you can do just to feel like you did show up for yourself in this way on the days there's just not time for more? Don't let it go altogether, keep a connection to the habit and you'll send yourself the message and create the muscle memory that you DO show up to do this thing everyday, even if some days it's a little more abbreviated.
Go ahead, make your touchstone list now!!
xo,
m.
